Jesus In Political Garb

Wednesday, April 25th, 2012 by Gabriel Thy

We might surprise many by suggesting that Yeshua the Nazarene if found strolling along the fringes of today’s political landscape would probably be considered a “conservative moderate liberal” for the following reasons:

1. Conservative, because he believed that the law should not be abolished but fulfilled and that not even “a jot or a tittle” should be removed.

2. Moderate, because he refused to take sides. (“Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, and unto God what is God’s”)

3. Liberal, because Jesus cared more about helping regular people rather than hanging out with the “religious folk.”

Jesus was boring: a personal view by A. Warner

Quite frankly, to an adventure-seeker like me, Jesus was boring. Look at all the things he did NOT do. I mean, he did not…

…have a favourite sword with its own name.

…make dawn raids on unsuspecting villages.

…take prisoners.

…demand ransom money.

…take booty.

…behead anyone, let alone 600 in a day.

…kill anyone, or take part in stoning people.

…have a fire lit on a captive’s chest to make him say where the money was stashed.

…have men’s feet and hands cut off.

…their eyes put out with hot nails and leave them to die on hot desert rocks without water.

…order the stoning of an adulterous woman.

…authorise his followers to kill critics.

…authorise his followers to lie and deceive.

…order the house-burning of absent prayer attenders with them inside.

…command his followers to kill members of other religions.

…own black slaves.

…trade slaves.

…take girls captive as sex slaves.

…consummate marriage with a nine-year-old.

…have eleven wives.

…marry his daughter-in-law.

…drink camel urine, or claim health benefit for it.

…order dogs to be killed.

…turn red with anger at a curtain with pictures of animals on it, and tear it down.

…say that killing lizards brings benefits in the afterlife.

…say that one wing of a fly has the antidote to the poison on the other wing.

…say that the sun sets in a muddy pool.

…go for a night ride on a flying donkey.

Jesus was boring.

—GT

 

 

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